Are Other People Judging Your Drinking?
May I have all my people pleasers step forward - this is for you. I think so many of us care what others think - and often to the point that you do and act in ways you really don’t want to - but you think if you do they will like you.
Here’s what I’ve learned - it doesn’t matter what you do - people are always going to have their own thoughts about you.
And if you don’t believe me - think about this -
Have you ever been given a compliment you didn’t really believe or accept because you didn’t think you looked that good?
Have you ever been in an argument and the other person apologized but you didn’t think they were serious and remained angry?
Or maybe been on the other side where you apologized and the other person was still angry?
So you did and said what you thought was going to make them feel differently - but they didn’t - because they still had their own same thoughts.
Not everybody likes peaches right? You could be the juiciest peach and present with all the right things - but some people are still not going to like you.
And that’s ok.
It doesn’t mean the peach is bad - it just means the peach is not for everyone.
When you continue to act and do things in order to make someone else happy you are often times lying, or manipulating, because you are not being true to what you want - who you are. How often do you say yes, when you really want to say no? So you don't really want to do it, but you do. Be curious and start asking yourself why.
People pleasing mindset tends to come up when my clients when start drinking less. They are often afraid of what others may think. What I have learned is most of the time - especially if the others are still drinking - they don't even notice after a couple of glasses. Our brains like to tell us it is going to be terrible and everyone will have something to say but that's just because it is new to us. If they questioned why you weren't having heroin for example it would not be a concern right?
The fact is, people are always going to judge.
Now you get to decide - should they judge the real you or who you are pretending to be?
The next question becomes - what is more important - your opinion of yourself, or theirs?
The only one you can truly work on is yours - this week I encourage you to be more mindful in what you currently believe about yourself - and what you want to believe. Are you holding yourself back from reaching your goals at the expense of what others think?
Decide today that you matter.
Want to drink less tonight?
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