Do You Wish You Had a Better Childhood?

Welcome back to Thinking about Drinking Thursday, where we discuss tools to help you drink less.  If you are a highly functioning gal who has decided to cut back, or quit drinking - this is for you.  If you have been saying you want to drink less, but haven't been successful I want to help by sharing some tools with you.  

We often spend a lot of time arguing with our past.  We believe it should’ve been different - our parents should’ve been different, that boyfriend should’ve treated you better, you should be different.  It causes so many people terrible feelings, and often times these terrible feelings lead us wine in an attempt to forget about it, or feel better.  What if you thought the past should’ve been exactly as it was, because it has made you the unique individual you are?  

We often think if only our journey was better we would have a better life.  When you fight against the past you are going to lose - it is what it is.  Now, what do you want to make it mean moving forward in a way that maybe has your feeling better, and not reaching for the extra glass of wine?  I will share an example of a client I recently had.  Her parents were divorced at a young age.  Her father had custody of her.  Growing up she told her story in a way that presented as her mother didn’t want her, she wasn’t a good mom, who would give up a child.  The title of the story was I’ll Be Such a Better Mom, but then she never had kids.  The story could've continued down a path to  become a real drag, or she could write some edits in the script, and tell it a different way.  The new story, is how lucky she was to have an amazing, hard working father and step mother who gave her a beautiful life.  Her biological mother would not have been able to provide anything near what she received growing up, and she was so lucky for the the way it happened.  She now has an amazing life herself, and the second story feels so much better to read.  

Some may say this could be delusional.  Here’s the thing friends - both stories are absolutely true.  What makes one more delusional than the other?  The fact is, one feels a lot better and will drive actions in a more positive way vs. feeling terrible and reaching for more wine in an effort to avoid or feel better.  So how do you tell your story?  If you struggling with your past I encourage you to tell your childhood story two ways - one where you have a horrible childhood and an awful upbringing, and one where you had the perfect childhood for you.  You can not change the past, but you can change what it means to you now.  Your future is yours to create - you get to decide what to bring along with you, and what baggage you want to leave behind.  I encourage you to write the best story possible. 

Each week I offer 2 free mini sessions, click here  to sign up, first come first serve, to anyone wishing to learn more about coaching, and to see if my program is applicable.  Once you sign up you will receive a call in number and appointment reminder.  Some may not be a fit, and that’s fine - free help in advance to see if it works.  Have an amazing day!