How Being Wrong Could Be Good For You

My teacher Brooke Castillo, discussed the concept of confirmation bias yesterday, and ironically at work we were discussing the same idea with patient care, I see the concept in play with my family and politics, and I see it so often in my coaching clients. Today I want to share with you how flipping your current thoughts on their heads may be the most beneficial skill you could learn as you reach for your goals.

Confirmation bias is defined as the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or hypotheses.  As humans we are motivated to be right, being wrong does not feel good - think about the last game of Scrabble you played when you were told that wasn’t a real word.  Think of the person you really don’t like at the party - no matter what she does, how nice she is, you will find something sketchy going on with her right?  

At work I see this with my patients.  They have been suffering with pain for years, and the ones that come in hopeful my therapy will help them do much better than the ones telling me how nothing ever works for them and this won't either - with all the reasons why not to follow.  Confirmation bias is totally evident in the text messages my family has going back and forth regarding politics - the Trump supporters send updates of anything they see as positive and the Hillary supporters fire back with links on what they find her doing well.  It is quite fascinating how the same experience will be displayed differently based on what the individual is searching to prove correct.  

In my coaching I see how confirmation bias can actually delay progress for some.  Our brain likes to be efficient and find evidence to prove our sense of self true.  If my client believes she can never lose weight, or never stop drinking wine she will find all the evidence and tell me her story as to why that is.  Notice - I call it a story - it is just that, her interpretation of what is happening.  The thing is, it feels so true because it has been a belief for so long.  Suggesting she change that story to making her someone that can lose weight, or drink less means she would have to change the experience of her self, and that can be uncomfortable.  Our brain does not want to change to the opposite belief of what it has been searching to prove true for so long.  

So if you are trying to lose weight, or drink less I first encourage you to be compassionate with the process.  Understand it is not you, it is your brain that is wanting to remain consistent with current thinking.  The question is - how willing are you to be wrong about what you have believed, and how willing are you to be uncomfortable in order to achieve your goals?  If you want to see a change in results you must be open to changing your current beliefs and search for the evidence to get  the results you dream of.  

Each week I offer 2 free mini sessions, first come first serve, to women who have had weight loss surgery and find themselves still struggling with food, or have developed a new struggle with overdrinking.  If you want to feel more in control and peaceful  Sign up here to discuss how my program may help you.  Once you sign up you will receive a call in number and appointment reminder.  Some may not be a fit, and that is fine - I consider it a privilege to offer free help in advance.