You Don't Need Wine to Feel Less Anxious

This is adapted from a previous post but have been working with so many people recently who can benefit from this concept.  The most important take away is to become the watcher of what is going on - these are thoughts and do not make you you.

That glass of wine is calling your name after a long day - between work, kids, the weather - you take first sip, deep sigh out, relax your shoulder, and start to make you feel better about all of it. Interestingly, none of “it” changes. Your brain thinks everything is better because you are reinforcing the learned behavior of over desire and dopamine hit, but imagine if you didn’t have to buffer to feel better. Right now you may have a false idea that the only way to feel better is alcohol, but you will learn if you cut back it’s ok to feel bored, anxious, or unhappy at times - it’s really not the end of the world. Becoming aware of these feelings may open the opportunity for you to take a look at what is really going on - the thoughts making you unhappy or anxious, and finding ways to shift them in order to feel better without the wine.

Let’s look at anxiety as an example. In the past anxiety served us because we lived in caves with predators and it is our brains job to protect us. We no longer live in caves, and likely the closest predator to you is your neighbors cute retriever. Anxiety is not necessary to protect us, but it still remains a very normal human trait. Anxiety alone is harmless. Our thoughts - reactions, resistance, and avoidance is what causes the problems. Often this is where we reach for the glass of wine - to avoid the feeling of anxiety. The thing is, the anxiety comes right back, and often times the thoughts about having the wine increase the anxiety levels.

This week I encourage you to first become aware of the anxiety - be the observer - separate yourself from it, and label it for what it is. Next, begin to allow the anxiety - this will give you authority over it. When you allow it, you are in control - it won’t go away but you recognize that it is harmless and you won’t have to be so quick to grab the drink. Continue to remind yourself that this is a harmless emotion. Anxiety no longer serves us as it did in the past, and you can begin changing your relationship with it, by changing your thoughts. It is really important to understand it is not the circumstance - the job, the kids, the weather - that is causing you the anxiety - it is your thought about the circumstance. Keep in mind - all thoughts are optional - you can decide to have a new thoughts in order to begin feeling better, and shockingly - it can totally be done without the temporary false pleasure of PinotG.  

Begin keeping a list of all the things you want to experience which will give you a temporary natural pleasure - for example read, take a bath, walk, massage. Recognizing anxiety, accepting it, and experiencing more well being living will be such a game changer.