This Is Why Drinking Isn't The Solution to Grief

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I saw a quote posted this week "Grief is Love Unfinished" and it made me stop and think about how many people suffer from the pain of losing a loved one, and if this is you, I wanted to offer some ideas as you move through it.

All of our feelings come from our thinking.  How we interpret an event - such as a loved one dying - will often lead us to feel grief.  Author Brene Brown says grief is the uninvited guest that moves into your home and intends to stay awhile.  So often we don't want to let it in, we push against it and try to shove it aside, or completely avoid it by over drinking to escape the feeling.  But what happens is, the pain is compounded with additional suffering from either a hangover from avoiding, or if resisting, the extra pain of fighting against what is the new reality.

Understanding this is the first step in processing the pain, and being willing to embrace it, is the next.   Start with looking at what is going on in your brain.  Look at all he thoughts you have about the situation and take some time to write them down.  This is an important step because it allows you to watch yourself being in pain, vs being at the effect of the pain.  Next, allow yourself to feel the pain and notice you can handle it.  Some days will be more challenging, but you can handle it.

The second part of the quote - "love unfinished' seemed to me like "love incomplete", and I want to suggest that love is never incomplete.  If all of our feelings come from our thoughts, you can always feel love for someone - even if they are not in your physical presence.  You can choose loving thoughts everyday, and feel love, on purpose, every day.

Life is always going to be 50/50 - half great, and half not so great.  Love is always an option, and pain is part of the human experience.  The additional suffering we do to ourselves by not being willing to feel the pain is optional.

If this resonates with you, and you want to begin drinking less, download this free guide on the 3 steps you can take to begin drinking less today.  

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