Drink Less, Live More

May I have all my people pleasers step forward - this is for you.  I think so  many of us care what others think - and often  to the point that you do and act in ways you really don’t want to - but you think if you do they will like you. Here’s what I’ve learned - it doesn’t matter what you do - people are always going to have their own thoughts about you. And if you don’t believe me - think about this -  Have you ever been given a compliment you didn’t really believe or accept because you didn’t think you looked that good?  Have you ever been in an argument and the other person apologized but you didn’t think they were serious and remained angry? Or maybe been on the other side where you apologized and the other person was still angry? So you did and said what you thought was going to make them feel differently - but they didn’t - because they still had their own same thoughts. Not everybody likes peaches right? You could be the juiciest peach ...

I was at an exciting football game this weekend.  It was the quarterback's first start at home, we saw record breaking receptions, multiple turnovers, down by 17 late in the 3rd, tied the game, double overtime, people yelling in the stands - and it ended in a win for my team! The reason I am sharing this, is because it got me to thinking about how these ideas  are important parallels as you learn to drink less, or achieve any goal in life. Notice, it was the QB's first home start, they moved forward, they moved back, but they  never gave up.  They had no idea going into the game that they were going to win in double OT, but they had a goal to win. When we start any goal we typically don’t know how we will accomplish it.   The first step is - do something. You have to make a play. The first play may not be the exact one that moves you closer to your goal - but you always have another opportunity. So often we just give up. If you are trying to d...

I saw a quote posted this week "Grief is Love Unfinished" and it made me stop and think about how many people suffer from the pain of losing a loved one, and if this is you, I wanted to offer some ideas as you move through it. All of our feelings come from our thinking.  How we interpret an event - such as a loved one dying - will often lead us to feel grief.  Author Brene Brown says grief is the uninvited guest that moves into your home and intends to stay awhile.  So often we don't want to let it in, we push against it and try to shove it aside, or completely avoid it by over drinking to escape the feeling.  But what happens is, the pain is compounded with additional suffering from either a hangover from avoiding, or if resisting, the extra pain of fighting against what is the new reality. Understanding this is the first step in processing the pain, and being willing to embrace it, is the next.   Start with looking at what is going on in your brain. ...

Recently my coach was talking about the "Compound Effect".  It's actually a book by Darren Hardy in which he discusses the importance of small steps.  According to him the formula is small smart choices + consistency + time = RADICAL DIFFERENCE.  Everything in your life is a choice.  Every choice matters.  What you decide will either add up over time to a positive effect, or a negative one. Think about an example you may have.  For me I look back at when I first began meditating.  I pretty much hated it.  I do not like to "relax", I didn't want to hear all the voices in my head, I never thought I would "do it right".  But I started super small.  I literally set a timer on my phone for one minute.  I think about ever ten seconds I would peak to see if it was almost done.  But then I started to get better at it, and moved the timer to 2 minutes, with less peaking.  After some time doing that I invested in the HeadSpace...

The other day I was calling to make an eye doc appt and when she asked for my insurance ID number I could not see it on the card. I just kept saying "I only see the group number, I only see the group number", and after about 5 minutes I noticed the biggest part of the card was the ID number! This example may make you think I clearly need an eye exam, but the fact is - I had my contacts in! It seems more like once my brain decided the ID number wasn’t there I just couldn't see it. Did you ever notice how many white cars you see on the road after you buy a white car? Ever notice when you start with a negative thought about someone - say a co-worker - you typically find anything he or she does as wrong? But, if  y our BFF did the same you wouldn’t mind.  Your brain is always looking for evidence to prove itself true.  It is so fascinating.   There is a name for this process - confirmation bias, and your reticular activating system is a part of the brain tha...

Do you know what I’ve found as a huge hindrance to accomplish any new goals in my life - and in many of my clients as well?  Perfectionism.   Growing up were you told it had to be an A?  I truly believed you had to get A’s - I mean, in my family that’s how you got the full dollar from Aunt Betty.  And let me tell you - I wanted that cold cash.  I also wanted the praise.  I didn't want to have to answer why the B was a B and not an A.   As I moved through life the same beliefs hopped in the suitcase to come along with me.  College - same - after all - why would one go to college and not get A’s?  Isnt’ that how you get the best jobs?  As I moved into my career I landed in sales (let’s be honest - who grows up saying they want to be a salesperson?), and of course “the A” was hitting my revenue number.  You get paid to hit 100% - you get paid less if not.  So again - nothing less than perfect is the way it rolls.  ...